Wednesday, September 12, 2012


I have reached a new level of frustration with myself. I hear myself cheering others along on their weightloss/fitness journey, quoting motivational words, and meaning it from the bottom of my heart. But in myself I'm really struggling. I'm struggling with having balance between eating healthy for my life and not just enjoying those foods in moderation. I seem to be in an 'all or nothing' phase and it's really not getting me anywhere. I have been eating what I want, when I want and really feeling apathetic about my health. I feel like rubbish from eating rubbish and if I don't pull myself out of this hole, I fear I may slide very quickly back to where I was. 

I always promised myself that once I got to a healthy weight that I would exercise for life, not for weight loss. I promised myself I would respect my body by eating wholesome, healthy food and only indulging occasionally, enjoy it then move on. Yes I'm maintaining my weight okay, I've been sitting between 67kg & 69kg for the last couple of months but I don't feel all that healthy. I don't feel like my body is operating at the best it could be. 

BUT BUT BUT! You know what's REALLY awesome?! I'm aware. For once in my life I'm aware of what's going on. I'm aware of my processes. I'm aware that I need to act. I'm not blindly eating my way into oblivion. It's not even about guilt. It's about the fact that I deserve better. I deserve to be healthy. I'm more valuable that the rubbish food that I give my body. So that's it. Done. Moving on. Onwards and upwards soldier. Bring on week 4! I'm gonna smash it.   

It's time to reassess my goals. What do I really want from my health? What am I prepared to do to get there? What are the main triggers for eating the foods I shouldn't?

Soul-searching time. Watch this space.


  1. Christy,

    You are a very strong woman who fought and conquered one of life's hardest battles. There are going to be many many (upon many) days within the rest of your life that you are going to regret what you have consumed, and also be proud of your everyday diet, the positive thing about all this, is the fact that you have come this far by just being aware of what is going into your body. Good OR Bad. Don't punish yourself for having a treat! Its all about give and take.

    Maybe you would benefit from some of the cook books that I use. The woman (Annette Sym) you may have heard of her, creates many 'naughty food' dishes and turns them into beautiful guilt free meal alternatives. Her chocolate mud cake is to DIE for, and has only 7.0g of fat per slice, with half the sugar, where as your average mud cake has a whopping 50g of fat per slice. (No wonder why our country is obese!) She has created beautiful low fat and sugar chocolate mousse, ice creams, sorbets.. She also makes alternatives for the not so light on your stomach tuna mornay, garlic prawns, and chicken satay burgers. (She even has 'corn chips and nachos' aswell) As it is a cook book for diabetics too, carbohydrates are not through the roof either. Her philosophy is all within the way the meal is prepared, and has done extensive research to ensure that all the ingredients that go into the dishes are good for your body.

    I like to make up a few of her recipes and divide them up into snack size containers for through out the week. The deserts are really handy, because when you are at the supermarket staring at that $1.00 impulse chocolate buy, you think "Oh thats right, I have a mud cake in the freezer!"

    So if you HAVE heard of Annette Sym, then I guess my post was pointless. But I totally recommend making some low fat, low sugar chocolate pudding, or cake and storing it away from the days when you want to eat a cheese cake franchise.

    Remember its only human to crave food!! My friend is a size 4, and she can 'down' two large big mac meals in 10 minutes, and still go back for desert. Need I say more.

    You are awesome Christy, don't ever forget it!

    Emma R

  2. Thanks for your great response Emma! I do have Annette Sym's books, they're great! Just need to get into the habit of using them more, especially for desserts!

    Just working on my head, it's certainly a mental battle!

    I appreciate your encouragement!