Ok. Time to be frank. I am NOT in a good headspace. This week has just been an absolute trainwreck. Yes, I've had some wins. I'm physically feeling strong, I can see amazing changes in my fitness and muscle tone. And I love it. On the other side of the coin is just this constant eating. I've been starting out the day great - healthy breakfast, lunch and morning snack but after than it's gone downhill quickly. Yesterday I managed to consume almost double my calorie intake for the day, ended with an overconsumption of 1400 calories.
So my question is, why now? Why after 6 months of the disciple of early morning training and healthy eating am I turning back to this addiction to food? I feel like I have no control. I feel ashamed and like I'm letting myself and others down. When I look at my before and after shots I'm amazing by what I have achieved and I love how much healthier I feel. I love when people say how good I look. I love when my husband compliments me and says how beautiful I am. I love that my kids giggle cos my clothes are too big. I love being able to bring loads of groceries up the stairs and not be out of breath. I love that I can run around with my children and outrun them!
So it's time. Time to suck it up. Time to say no, even though nothing in me wants to continue. It's when the going gets tough that I show my true colours. I WILL not give up just because it's hard. At the end of the day, it's just chocolate. It's just sugary/salty rubbish that will leave me unsatisfied, with a horrible food hangover. Nothing can beat the feeling of satisfaction from exercising self-control and treating myself with respect. Nothing.